Filed under: Urban Advice | Tags: Black Eyed Peas, Jay Z, Lady Gaga, music, N-Dubz, Owl City, Plan B, pop music, scouting for girls, Timbaland
Right, I’m going to sound like my old man here but fuck it: New music is shite. Let me clarify that, not all new music but 99% of it. I was in the car with our kid earlier and her ADD means she flicks through radio stations every couple of minutes.
Fuck me, what a load of fucking shite. Scouting for Girls? All their songs sound the same. Flo Rida? Leave the rap to the lads that know how. Timbaland? Give it up you fat, sideways looking meff, Autotune was done to death 2 years ago, step away from the Moog and go on a fucking diet. Dizzee Rascal? Couple of good tunes 5 years ago, now producing shite for the white middle class. Lady Gaga? Madonna light, and she looks like she needs a good bath. Jay Z? Stop biting Nas’ ideas (or anyone else’s for that matter). Black Eyed Peas? By fuck did you whoppers sell out, from having Preem produce to making the shite the do now. Mazel tov indeed. Plan B? Grow some fucking bollocks you scruffy looking turd, or did some tart castrate you? Owl City? Fuck me, you couldn’t be more blatant in ripping off Deathcab for Cutie if you fucking tried. N-Dubz? Where do I start? From Dappy’s condom-eque headwear to Tulisa’s tired warblings, it the music for a generation of scrotes who’s idea of a good Friday night is ragging it round McDonalds car park in a Clio twin turbo.
Erm there was a point to this rant but I can’t remember what it was.