The Urban Ray Mears

Football eh? Big business these days, clubs worth hundreds of millions, players earning hundreds of thousands of pounds A week. Its a long way away from the 1980′s of tiny shorts, bad hair and groups of lads smashing up towns, grounds and other lads every weekend, all over the country. It doesn’t surprise me that books have been written on this subject, some romanticizing, some honest and some fantasizing. It doesn’t surprise me that some of these books have then been turned into films.

In turn, I suppose I shouldn’t then be surprised that bad idiots up and down the country have taken to emulating (or should that be aping?) the characters and events in them. I made the mistake of going to watch Football Factory, during the film we had a group of scruffs in front of us chatting away, amazed at what was going on. After the film they were all geared up, banging on about being in a “firm” and going to the “footie” etc. I was properly embarrassed for them as they talked of getting Burberry caps.

So lets move on a few years, more books are out, more films have been released celebrating the football hooligan lifestyle, a couple even try and capture the whole “Casual” thing (Away Days). Kids that watched these have grown up, they go to the match now. Easy to spot. Very easy to spot. Usually they’ve got some generic hooligan wear on, Stone Island (possibly snide) maybe a shit Fila re-issue tracky top and some generic adidas (normally them snide quality re-issue Forrest Hills). I’ve seen them, home and away, grouped together with their shit spiky haircuts like they’ve come from an X-Factor audition. Shouting at opposition fans from behind the safety of the police.

Now if they want to act like bad balloons, fair enough, its their lives. But when they start infiltrating my day out at the football or my away days, then they have to start living with consequences. For example, I went to an away match at the San Siro earlier this year, as aways go, it was a top laugh until we got in the ground. Then all the idiots that had made the trip made their presence know. One even had the cheek to have a go at my mate Stan for not being in his allocated seat, then tried to have a go at him, calling him “grandad”. They obviously had no idea of the standing etiquette of an away match. Then at the end, some of the younger “lads” at the front, near the perspex barriers set fire to an Internazionale scarf.

They seem to think this behaviour is acceptable, they’ve seen it in films, so they want to do it. When I was an 18 year old lad going on a euro away, I travelled with a group of lads from my age up to seasoned veterans in their 50′s. I was schooled in how to behave, and what to do, my mate Nog telling me the following “If its the normal police, you fight, if its the riot coppers, run like fuck” to his slightly less maniacal “When you’re having breakfast or eating somewhere, try and keep loads of bread rolls on you for later when yer starving”. Its advice that has served me well over the past decade and I impart it where necessary.

Due to cheap flights they don’t have to rely on trips organised by a rabble of older lads, just whack the flights on a credit card and you’re off to play merry hell with dibble all over Europe without a care in the world. The same with domestic travel, how much for a coach to London £20, a few cans for £10, match ticket £40, few beers in London £50.. Its a fair bit of money, but to lads living at home with Mam & Dad, disposable income is in abundance.

Saying all this, I suppose we’re partly to blame, some of us slightly older people have highly elitist attitudes towards support, not in the sense that anyone is more of a “proper fan” but in the sense that its hard for us accept new people into our groups for fear that they’ll be disrupted. Maybe its time for us take some of these idiots under our wings to teach them a few things. Show them how to behave, how to avoid and how to get away with things. Jesus, I’m turning into me Dad.