Filed under: Urban Advice | Tags: action, action film, action films, cheese, Cobra, film, Passenger 57, Russell, Snipes, Stallone, Statham, Tango and cash, The Transporter, Van Damme
1: Passenger 57 starring Wesley Snipes – Watched this last night, fuck me, how this film ever got commissioned I’ll never know. The plot is some half arsed airplane hijacking, with an insane English aristocrat as the main protagonist. But its a fine example of a 90′s action film, shoot outs where the guns never run out, Snipes kicking fuck out of everyone, it even has a half arsed training montage spliced with his wife’s death (which he feels responsible for!) at the beginning. 4 Edams out of 5
2: Timecop starring Jean Claude Van Damme – Half baked futuristic romp where JCVD is a cop that helps police time travel. This is another one where the good guys wife dies, thus causing him just the right amount of pain and anguish that he needs to kick the living shite out of numerous bad guys. A typical JCVD vehicle.
3: Cobra starring Sly Stallone – Belting this, a classic even. Sly is a maverick cop (the best kind of cop) protecting a star witness against some “supremacists”. Involves motorcycles, a duel in a steelworks and he punches his commanding officer at the end. Belting
4: Tango & Cash starring Stallone & Kurt Russell – An action comedy this time round, Tango (Stallone) is a stylish, clever cop to Cashs (Russell) scruffy maverick type, so basically this film is an odd couple type buddy comedy with guns and shit. Then the partners get framed for murder! Then sent to a maximum security penitentiary filled with criminals they themselves sent down! Cheesy as fuck, but brilliant with it.
5: The Transporter starring Jason Statham – Quite a recent film compared to the rest but still up there. Statham’s role as the eponymous “Transporter” is typical action film one, he’s a shadowy ex military man, who operates on the wrong side of the law, with a weird accent he high kicks his way through daft fight scenes (fighting covered in engine oil for fucks sake) and cheap explosions. Five lock stocks and two smoking barrels out of five.
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Point Break for me every single time. Loved it ever since it came out, seen it hundreds of times and accidentally watched it again last night when I should have been going to bed. Beach bums dressed as ex-presidents robbing banks and blasting fuck out of everyone in sight, people jumping out of aeroplanes, lots of surfing and a shitload of “whoa dude”, plus some incredibly cheesy Zen-lite dialogue (“You know I can’t handle a cage, man!” “Vaya con dios……” “He’s not coming back…..” etc etc. Marvellous. Keanu Reeves puts in his usual atrocious performance but still remains likeable, Patrick Swayze is ace as Body and it’s even got Gary Busey in it for fuck’s sake. What’s not to like?!
Comment by Doc September 4, 2010 @ 10:43Shit, I’ve not seen Point Break in years! Gonna have to dig that one out over the weekend.
Comment by propphil September 8, 2010 @ 09:20I wouldn’t say The Transporter is so bad it’s good, a few cars explode inexplicably but it’s got everything you want from an action film, including what I think is the most imaginative fight scene choreography I’ve ever seen ie. the bits with the shipping container doors, the jumper, and the engine oil of course.
Comment by Annie October 8, 2010 @ 14:11