Filed under: Urban Advice | Tags: blackberry, old, RIM, sms, yoof, young, youth
Now I’m not one to generally feel old, or even my age, I think that age is a load of shite really. But every now and then I’m put in a situation where, in relation to others, I’m an “old head”. For example, I was out the other Saturday night in a well known indie haunt in Manchester, nothing unusual there, the author was “chirpsing” (to use youth vernacular, it means flirting I believe) on some lovely young lady, when she asked for my number, great work I’m thinking, so i reel off my digits, “no, not that number, your Blackberry pin number”. What the fuck? “You have got a Blackberry, haven’t you?” Well yeah love, I’m a high flying business type, I need one of them shits. So I’m out, I’ve blown it, I had no idea what she was on about.
And that readers, was about the first time I’ve genuinely felt out of touch with the younger generation. I found out quickly off one of my “posse” (That’s what the kids say? Right?) that it’s some free messaging service from RIM (ha “rim”) the shoddy device making creators of the Blackberry brand behemoth. It’s favoured by “da yoof” for some reason over traditional SMS messaging. Why? Fuck knows. But this isn’t about them, its about me.
So yeah, I’m out of touch, not only with younger folk, but with technology! That’s the kicker, I’ve always prided myself on being at the bleeding edge of new tech, but not any more, I’d missed this Blackberry shit (despite having one from work). How the fuck did that happen? Fuck knows, maybe, because I’m now I’m approaching 30 I just can’t hack the trending (get that you Twitter fuckers) pace. So fuck it, its tweed and comfy shoes from the Express readers specials for this cat. Anyone for some crown green bowling?
Filed under: Urban Advice | Tags: action, action film, action films, cheese, Cobra, film, Passenger 57, Russell, Snipes, Stallone, Statham, Tango and cash, The Transporter, Van Damme
1: Passenger 57 starring Wesley Snipes – Watched this last night, fuck me, how this film ever got commissioned I’ll never know. The plot is some half arsed airplane hijacking, with an insane English aristocrat as the main protagonist. But its a fine example of a 90′s action film, shoot outs where the guns never run out, Snipes kicking fuck out of everyone, it even has a half arsed training montage spliced with his wife’s death (which he feels responsible for!) at the beginning. 4 Edams out of 5
2: Timecop starring Jean Claude Van Damme – Half baked futuristic romp where JCVD is a cop that helps police time travel. This is another one where the good guys wife dies, thus causing him just the right amount of pain and anguish that he needs to kick the living shite out of numerous bad guys. A typical JCVD vehicle.
3: Cobra starring Sly Stallone – Belting this, a classic even. Sly is a maverick cop (the best kind of cop) protecting a star witness against some “supremacists”. Involves motorcycles, a duel in a steelworks and he punches his commanding officer at the end. Belting
4: Tango & Cash starring Stallone & Kurt Russell – An action comedy this time round, Tango (Stallone) is a stylish, clever cop to Cashs (Russell) scruffy maverick type, so basically this film is an odd couple type buddy comedy with guns and shit. Then the partners get framed for murder! Then sent to a maximum security penitentiary filled with criminals they themselves sent down! Cheesy as fuck, but brilliant with it.
5: The Transporter starring Jason Statham – Quite a recent film compared to the rest but still up there. Statham’s role as the eponymous “Transporter” is typical action film one, he’s a shadowy ex military man, who operates on the wrong side of the law, with a weird accent he high kicks his way through daft fight scenes (fighting covered in engine oil for fucks sake) and cheap explosions. Five lock stocks and two smoking barrels out of five.
